How to Enjoy Life

If you're like most people, you probably have difficulty enjoying life. Take my advice. Enjoying life can be yours for a mere $6.00 US made payable to Scott L Holmes (small denominations only), due upon the moment of self-actualization.

You Can Change How You Feel

Did you know this about yourself? When you feel like crap and the walls are closing in on you and everywhere people seem cold and bitter and annoying. When the trash needs to be taken out and the dishes need to be washed and you're 2 months late on the rent and you just got off the phone with the "X" and you feel like killing yourself. Well, just stop. Take a deep breath and think about how you're feeling. First of all, realize that its OK to be all pissed off or depressed or agitated. This is normal and to be expected. But also realize that you won't feel this way forever. As a matter of fact, if you think about it, you can change the way you feel as quickly as turning on a light. Just do it. Give yourself a good sigh and think "I don't want to feel this way. I want to feel better. I think I will start feeling better even though all this shit is cluttering up my emotions. As a matter of fact, I'm just gonna feel better." It's not that difficult, you just have to do it. You just feel better because you make yourself feel better. Simple. You don't even have to ask permission from your boss.

Be Honest with Yourself

Ah, this one's a little more difficult. Being honest with yourself takes practice, lots and lots of practice. We all lie to ourselves. Sometimes, it's just little white lies and other times it's bold face double underlined big gigantic lies. Sometimes the lies are so big that it will take an entire lifetime to even identify them and then you're dead and well maybe we shouldn't have been looking for those particular ones in the first place.

Being honest with yourself mostly means that you think about what you did. But the trick is that you do it in a non-judgemental way. If you did something that you are ashamed of, something bad, or maybe even something criminal, you just can't live your life revolving around it. You've got to move on. Try to do better. Well, don't try to do better. Just do better. When you actually do something better, be cognizant of this. The things you do right are much more important than the things you do wrong. Do the right things on purpose. Do the wrong things accidentally.

It's OK to be self critical. This is an important characteristic of being honest with yourself. It is always a little scary, too. But try to work through that. Face it. Ignore the fear. It is you, you're talking to after all. And if you're afraid of yourself, you'll never change. So, if you don't like something about yourself, like the clothes you wear, the way you smell, the color of your shoes, don't yell at yourself. Think about what you're gonna need to do to change that. This is the goal behind being honest with yourself. Be constructive with your self criticism. You're not trying to become even more depressed or self-loathing, you're trying to figure out how to correct your problems.

Quit blaming. There is no one to blame but yourself. Even when others around you are failing left and right, it really is your fault. Why? Because there were probably things that you could have said or did that would have changed things for the better, in both your case and in the case of the people around you. If you just accept it, that it's your fault and quit blaming other people for everything that's wrong, you are being honest with yourself. You can then take steps to deal with it. You see, you cannot control other people, as much as you would like to think you can. Everyone has as much free will as you do. They will never do what you want or what you expect, so get over it. You are only in charge of yourself.

When you quit blaming others, it becomes a little easier to have compassion because you begin to understand things from the perspective of the people around you. Commiserating with others is an important factor in being honest with yourself. When you understand how it must be for another person, you loose a little of the hate that is bottled up inside of you. Hate is an energy draining poison that you must purge from your soul. You will never enjoy life if you are hating.

Don't be so Negative

There is a part of human psyche that requires us to want to be noticed. Many people have many ways of exhibiting this trait. We learn early in our young adult life that one of the easiest ways to be noticed is to be very negative. This properly stems from peer pressure. We walk around thinking "he's wrong, I'm right" no matter what the real truth is. This can develop into a contrarian personality where even simple mundane issues that come up are dealt with in an argumenative and opinionated crisis ridden angst. Well stop it. Very few things are important enough to feel this way. Not every single challenge you are faced with deserves such strong levels of convicition. You do everyone, including yourself, a great disserve by having strong opinions about things you really know nothing about. If you're honest with yourself, you'll come to realize that you really don't know jack about crap. So why argue?

It's OK to be Negative

Life is like this, you know? Don't always say what you believe to people. For instance, let's pretend you're talking to someone about religion. Now, you know there's a God, there has to be. You feel strongly about this. So, let's Rock. You say, "I don't believe in God." just to see what happens. Suprising, isn't it? You get an entirely fresh perspective on your deeply held beliefs, don't you? You'll freak a few people out, too. Freaking people out can be really fun. So, the next time you're at a party say "I like Marilyn Manson. He writes some very good music and his videos are really incredible." You'll feel exhaulted when all the conversation just ceases. But you're having a good time, so hey!

Live Your Life On Purpose

The point I'm trying to make about negative good negative bad is simple. You choose. You don't do this willy nilly. You decide whether you'll take the pro or con in everything you do. And you do it for a reason. It's very easy to be like a corked up bottle bobbing and drifting in a huge unfathomable ocean of emotions but you've got to resist just going along for the ride.

Remember this: your life is pretty fucking important. You don't have that much time being alive so you better start taking it really seriously. Otherwise, you'll be there one day, dying, and thinking, "jeeze, I didn't have a whole lot of fun at all, this sucks".

The Ethical Treatment of Humans

You will find it much easier to enjoy life if the people around you are having a good time. Try to make them happy even if you don't feel like it. You have a responsibility and an obligation to serve your fellow man. You may not like it but that is your karma and you cannot escape it. The road to Nirvana cuts through the forest of service.

So you see, enjoying life is not a selfish act so you should stop using that as an excuse. You might as well start enjoying life right now, 'cause there's really nothing stopping you, nothing at all.